Every Little Thing
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: drabbles, crack pairings, bad jokes, crossover, etc. A collection of every little thing that pops into my head.
1. Needles

**DISCLAIMER: Deathnote belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.**

**A/N: This is a collection of Every Little Thing (that pops into my head). Now accepting requests and your unused plot bunnies! I will close it down once it hits 100 chapters. On to ch 1!

* * *

**-- Needles --

In the middle of interrogating Light, L suddenly stopped in the middle of a sentence and paged Watari.

"Watari, bring me _that_," L said into his cell phone.

A few minutes later Watari entered the room with a silver case in his hands. He opened the case and presented it to L. It contained a single syringe and a small bottle of clear fluid.

_S-sodium pentathol?_ Light though nervously. If L used the truth serum on him, it was all over...

"What is that, Ryuzaki?" he asked, keeping his voice even but allowing a calculated amount of curiousity in his tone.

"Insulin," L answered, loading the syringe.

"Insulin?" Light repeated, both surprised and relieved that it was not sodium pentathol after all.

L pulled up his sleeve and prepared the injection site. Light watched in fascination as L gave himself the shot.

"I'm diabetic," L explained, dropping the empty syringe into the trashcan.


	2. Die, L, Die!

-- Die, L, Die! --

After meeting "Hideki Ryuga", Misa used her limited brain power (combined with Rem's reasoning skills) to deduce that this person was L. Once she got home, she immediately wrote L's real name into her Deathnote.

Later, when she was alone with Light in a secure location, she told him what she'd done.

"But it would be bad for Light if L died suddenly from something suspicious, especially a heart attack," she explained, "so Misa did _this_." She showed Light L's entry in her Deathnote.

_L Lawliet, disease, diabetes_.

"Misa..." Light said slowly. "Diabetes is a manageable condition." He couldn't believe she'd been so stupid.

"It's too late to change it," Rem informed them. "But since he didn't just die from a heart attack after it was written, that means it IS possible for him to die from it so it'll happen. Although there's no way to tell how long it will take for him die..."

Well, this was Misa after all. Light hadn't been expecting much out of her. He still had to find a way to get himself out of L's sights as a Kira suspect, and he had to keep it up as long as L was alive.

Only one burning question remained in Light's mind.

_Wait, his actual name is "L"?_

-end-


	3. Perfect Pair

-- Perfect Pair --

**Scene setup for this situation: Light has been captured as Kira and L touched the Deathnote. L currently has possession of the Deathnote, and can't destroy it because it is evidence in the Kira case, so Ryuk is required to "haunt" L for the duration. They're in the living room of whatever hotel suite L is currently staying in.**

"Shinigami love apples, right?" L asked.

"Right," Ryuk answered, looking at L expectantly. Surely the detective was going to give him an apple now, after asking that...

"Well, then, I've got a treat for you."

_Oh, so he __**is**__ going to give me an apple_, Ryuk thought to himself exitedly.

"It's Halloween in America right now, so I had Watari get these for me..."

"Huh?" said Ryuk, confused. "Halloween is that holiday where humans dress up as Shinigami and try to scare each other into giving them candy, right? But what does that have to do with apples?"

"Didn't you know?" L asked, eyes wide in disbelief. "Caramel apples are a Halloween treat! Most stores only carry them during the fall. Here, try one!" He thrust the caramel-and-nut-covered treat in the Shinigami's face.

Ryuk took one look at it and said, "I ain't eating that." And he wandered away to play video games.

"Oh, well. More for me," L said to himself.

Soon the plastic package was empty and there was a pile of apples on sticks sitting next to L on the coffee table. He'd licked all the caramel off without eating the apples.

"Hey," Ryuk said, spying the uneaten apples. "Aren't you going to eat those?"

"Mm," L replied, which wasn't really much of a response at all.

"You're not?" Ryuk asked. "Do you mind if I eat them, then?"

"Go ahead. I'm done with them."

Ryuk pulled out the sticks and flung them aside, then proceeded to scarf down the now-naked apples.

And so you see, these two really make a perfect pair.

-end-


	4. Strange Apple

-- Strange Apple --

Ryuk picked up an orange from the fruit bowl and said, "Light, this is a really strange apple."

Light looked at what the Shinigami was holding and said flatly, "Ryuk, that's an orange."

"I know it's orange," the Shiningami replied, apparently thinking Light was commenting on the fruit's color. Ryuk tilted his head to the side, and kept titling it much farther than a human could have been able to manage, as he stared at the fruit in his hand.

Light noticed the odd phrasing of the Shinigami's reply and so he was not _entirely_ surprised by Ryuk's next comment.

"That makes it an even stranger apple."

_Why did I get stuck with such a __**stupid **__Shinigami?_

-end-

**A/N: Short, I know. That's why it's Every LITTLE Thing.**


	5. Ryuk Eats An Orange

**A/N: This is MiaoShou's request. It's a sequel to "Strange Apple".**

-- Ryuk Eats An Orange --

Ryuk kept examining the orange and commenting on what a strange apple it was. Light was getting annoyed with the Shinigami's antics.

"Just _eat it_ already, Ryuk!" he snapped.

"Boy, you're cranky today, Light," Ryuk replied, and obediently took a big bite out of the orange. "Ew, bleeeeecchh." He spit it out and wiped his tongue on his sleeve repeatedly, trying to get rid of the nasty bitter taste.

"... you're supposed to take the peel off first."

-end-


	6. The Missing Frame

- The Missing Frame -

"How strange..." Matsuda commented, staring hard at his computer screen.

"What?" L asked disinterestedly. Matsuda's input was generally not constructive.

"The Kira worshippers are fighting with The Despair Faction all over the internet!"

"The Despair Faction...?"

"The Despair Faction is the official fanclub for a band named AFI," Matsuda explained. "Apparently, their lead singer died recently from a heart attack and the fans are convinced Kira killed him."

"Why would Kira do that? Was he a criminal?" L asked, now very interested.

"They're saying it's because of this..." Matsuda clicked a forward-facing arrow on his screen and an audio clip began to play.

"_One at a time, heart attacks are concealed. I can see that I lose the joys of life one at a time. Suicides are revealed. You will see that I lost another life but tonight I'll let you tear it up if you don't wake me up_. _But if you tear it we can't repair it. So please don't wake me till someone cares_." -AFI, from the song "The Missing Frame"

-end-

**DISCLAIMER: The song "The Missing Frame" and all lyrics belong to AFI.**


	7. Davey Havok Is Still Alive

**DISCLAIMER: NO MEMBER OF AFI WAS HARMED IN THE MAKING OF CHAPTER 6. THE AUTHOR WOULD NEVER HARM THEM (even fictionally) AND APOLOGIZES FOR ANY CONFUSION.**

**A/N: This ch is a sequel to The Missing Frame. These two chs take place before Light meets Misa. **

Dedicated to NothingFromNowhereI'mNoOneAtAll

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- Davey Havok Is Still Alive -

The very next day, Sakura TV received a tape from Kira. Soon every news station was broadcasting the internet scandal and the new Kira message.

_**KIRA**_ in Gothic lettering.

"I did not kill Davey Havok."

AFI themselves posted a video on YouTube, a live perferomance of "The Missing Frame" at the end of which the lead singer came up close to the camera and said simply, "Guys, I'm not dead."

That video spread all over the internet and soon was being featured alongside Kira's message on the news as well.

"Why go to all the trouble?" Rem asked. "They would have found out he was alive anyway without you doing that."

"But I didn't want Kira to be blamed for something he didn't do," Misa answered. "And besides, Rem, I _like_ AFI..."

And poor Light was left wondering what the f-ing hell was going on, 'cause he didn't have anything to do with ANY of that.

-end-

**A/N: I love AFI. I didn't mean to make it sound like Kira actually killed Davey Havok. I just thought those lyrics kind of went with Deathnote.**


	8. Light's Epiphany

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. In fact, I own so much nothing, it's not even funny.**

**A/N: This takes place when Ryuk first shows himself to Light.**

-- Light's Epiphany --

Light saw Ryuk for the first time and showed him the Death Note.

"Wow, you wrote a lot of names," Ryuk said, sounding impressed.

Light responded:

"_There's a hole in the world like a great black pit  
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit  
And the vermin of the world inhabit it  
But not for long!  
They all deserve to die.  
Tell you why, shinigami, tell you why.  
In all of the whole human race, shinigami,  
There are two kinds of men and only two.  
There's the one staying put in his proper place  
And the one with his foot in the other one's face.  
The lives of the wicked should be made brief.  
For the rest of us, their deaths will be a relief.  
They're the ones who deserve to die.  
And once my plans have are unfurled  
I'll be the God of this bright new world!_"

-end-

**A/N: The song is "Epiphany" from Sweeney Todd, altered to fit Light. I can so picture Light and Sweeney singing togther, lolz.**


	9. Light's Friends

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN RYUK. T-shirts and keychains. And a magnet.**

-- Light's Friends --

Misa gave her Deathnote to Light. Light grabbed his own Deathnote in his other hand and began to sing.

"_These are my friends.  
See how they're filled_."

He flipped one open so they could see all the names written in it.

"_See this one kill_."

He quickly scribbled a name into his Deathnote.

"Wow, Kira's actually a psycho, isn't he?" said Misa quietly to Rem. "I mean, he's singing... quick, let's get out of here!"

They ran away while Light continued sing to his Death Note.

"_My friend,  
My faithful friend,  
You've been bored all these years too  
Like me, my friend.  
And now we can kill things  
My friend_..."

-end-

**A/N: -.-' if you really think about it, "My Friends" is actually the creepiest song in Sweeney Todd... So Misa reacted like a normal human being and got scared and ran away.**


	10. Rabies

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own DEATHOTE, any of the series I've borrowed character names from in this chapter, or rabies.**

-- Rabies --

_Ace Ventura. Disease: rabies. Bitten by a rabid raccoon._

_Eric Foreman. Disease: rabies. Bitten by a rabid patient._

_Bruce Wayne. Disease: rabies. Bitten by a rabid bat._

_Jaden Yuki. Disease: rabies. Bitten by a rabid Kuriboh._

Ryuk looked at the Deathnote page, then back at LazyCatfish27 and said, "What is it with you and rabies?"

- end -


	11. Old Fashioned

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own.**

- Old-fashioned -

"The human whose name is written in this note shall die."

Sweeney stared at the Death Note and pondered it's usefulness for a while longer before handing it back to Ryuk.

"No thanks, shinigami."

"Huh? You don't want it?" Ryuk asked. And here he'd picked Sweeney out because of his homicidal tendencies.

"No," Sweeney replied, fondling his razor lovingly. "You see, I prefer to do it the old-fashioned way."

"Hyuk hyuk hyuk," Ryuk laughed. "Humans are fun!"

-end-


	12. It's Like Porn

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Death Note, L would still be alive and Light would be God of the new crime-free world. I don't know how that would work, but since I don't own it and neither of those things happened, I don't have to worry about it.**

**A/N: Been a long time since I updated, I know. Enjoy.**

-- It's Like Porn --

Aizawa: What's that stack of magazines L's drooling over in the corner by himself?

Matsuda: Porn, maybe?

L: How rude. You know, I can hear you. They're culinary magazines. I'm picking out a new dessert for Watari to prepare.

Matsuda:...

Aizawa: It's like porn to _him_...

-end-


	13. How They Got Named Mello and Near

**DISCLAIMER: Today's episode brought to you by Marshmallow Peeps.**

**SPOILERS: for Near and Mello's real names.**

-- How They Got Named Mello and Near --

Two new orphans were brought to Wammy's House and it was up to L to decide their nicknames.

"This is Mihael Keehl," Watari introduced the first boy.

"Ooh," said L. "Your hair color is like the yellow sugar on those chick-shaped marshmallow Easter candies. Your nickname is Mello!"

"And this is Nate River," Watari introduced the second boy.

"Ooh," said L. "It's like looking at a chibi albino ME! It's a close match, so your nickname is Near!"

-end-


	14. And the diagnosis is

**DISCLAIMER: Death Note belongs Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. House belongs to FOX. All your base are belong to us.**

-- And the diagnosis is... --

L was sick, very sick. They had no choice but to bring in the best doctor in the whole world to find out what mysterious illness had befallen their exalted leader...

"You have diabetes," Dr. House announced.

"Are you sure it's not-" L began.

"Nope," House cut him off. "It's diabetes."

-end-

**Reviews: love.**


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